The figures featured in this blog are all based on real sums. We just can’t show you our working because we’ve lost the envelope we did the maths on.
Over dinner on the eve of the 2019 Monitor Training Course, the instructing team did a quick tally of the Superweeks and school weeks they’d worked on. Between the seven of them, they worked out that they had amassed an estimated 106 ATE events.
We estimate that those 106 events equates to approximately 742 ATE days. That means that between them, our instructors have spent just under two years in the ATE bubble. If our instructors were to pool that time, they could have watched every episode of the BBC News at 10 and its predecessor, the BBC News at 9 that have ever aired. Twice.
While on Superweeks they’ve eaten 2,226 meals, and many more Tommy Smarties and After Eight mints, consuming approximately two million calories, equivalent to the energy of over two kilograms of TNT. According to Wikipedia, this is enough explosive power to destroy two small vehicles. This blog estimates that our instructors have devoured 50 metres of strawberry lace between them; more than the height of the Abberley Hall clock tower.
They’ve witnessed 848 rounds of All Those, and 117 ‘oh, I can’t see all the available chairs that are clearly visible, I guess I’ll just run in a small circle until it’s my turn to say All Those’ dances. Between them, our instructors have handed out 1,272 Antelope cards during JDP, approximately equivalent to Burkina Faso’s entire population of Bushbuck antelope, or enough antelope to feed a Lion for 424 days. We estimate that they have heard a variant of the phrase ‘why can’t I have a good card’ uttered 5,692 times.
They’ve heard the full name of the the Eine Kleine Bird successfully shouted 42,612 times, and heard it unsuccessfully mumbled 20,988 times. In their Monitoring days, our instructors asked children whether they had brushed their teeth 4,770 times, and yawned 1,192 times while reading bedtime stories.
Even after 57 Cuban Missile Crises worth of Superweeks, on the eve of the Training Course our instructor team were giddy and excited about playing the 849th round of Knee Tapping.